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經典笑話:看你還怎麼騎

學裏丟自行車情況特嚴重,新車眨眼就沒,不過有時運氣好,丟失的自行車隔幾天又會冒出來。一日,同宿舍小靜新買了一輛變速車,她逢人便炫耀說:“這車我上了最新式的鎖!“第二天,小靜上晚自習回,一副萎靡不振的樣子,手裏還捏了一張紙條,上面寫著:別當這兒沒高手,車我借走了,過幾天還你!
  
  不幾日,那賊真的把車給還回來了,小靜很是高興,但她擔心車被再次“借“走。遂買了十把大鎖,把車子五花大綁地鎖了個牢實,還給賊貼了張紙條:看你還怎麼“借“!次日早晨小靜下樓的時候,發現車上多了五把鎖,鎖上還有一張紙條:看你還怎麼騎!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Osweiler had a neat 25th birthday.
That's been a season-long issue for a team that came in 28th at scoring touchdowns inside the red zone.
Here are some things we learned from the Broncos' win over the Bears:
CHICAGO (AP) — Brock Osweiler sure looked ready to step in for Peyton Manning. The question is whether this is a short-term fix or long-term solution.
After back-to-back losses to Indianapolis and Kansas City, Denver got back to winning against a team contending for an NFC playoff spot. With Tom Brady and the New England Patriots visiting next week, that was just what the Broncos (8-2) needed.
All he did was complete 20 of 27 passes for 250 yards while five-time MVP Manning stayed back in Denver because of injuries to his foot, ribs and shoulder. He also kept his poise despite being sacked five times by an aggressive defense.
GETTING HEALTHY: The Bears got some starters back. They were still missing some of their top playmakers on offense.
Ronnie Hillman carried a season-high 21 times for 102 yards.
GROUND GAINS: With a first-time starter at quarterback, the Broncos put more emphasis on the run and set season highs for yards rushing (170) and attempts (36).
STRIKING EARLY: Opponents continue to score early on the Bears. For the third consecutive game, the Bears defense gave up a touchdown on its first series.

Osweiler wasted no time asserting himself with a 48-yard touchdown to Demaryius Thomas on Denver's first possession of the game. He also threw a 10-yarder to Cody Latimer early in the fourth quarter to make it 17-9 after Chicago cut the lead to one.
SEEING RED: The Bears again had trouble reaching the end zone, with one touchdown on just four trips inside the 20.
But the Broncos also had to be breathing a little easier after Osweiler showed he just might be able to step in for Manning on a long-term basis.
Star running back Matt Forte missed his third game because of a knee injury, while top receiver Alshon Jeffery (groin, shoulder) missed his fifth game of the season after playing last week.
The Bears (4-6), meanwhile, came up short in their bid to reach the .500 mark after winning two in a row.
Receiver Eddie Royal (knee) sat out his third in a row. But center Hroniss Grasu returned after missing three games with a neck injury. And linebacker Pernell McPhee was back after missing last week's game.
"He does this all of the time in practice, in preseason," linebacker Von Miller said. "I kind of came out here and expected it. What he did is what I expected him to do."
"We had some really big drives out of the hole that maybe weren't points for us but really changed the field position of the game,Cheap NFL Jerseys," coach Gary Kubiak said. "If we were better at short yardage today, we maybe could have closed the game."
"Obviously, being named a starter for this football game was a dream come true," Osweiler said. "But like I told you guys, I put all of that behind me on Monday night and just focused on playing football and getting the job done."
"We've had some red zone problems throughout the year," Cutler said. "We've got to look at that. In the red zone everything is a little bit tighter, everything is a little bit quicker."
Osweiler threw for two touchdowns while subbing for the injured Manning, and the Denver Broncos stopped Jeremy Langford on a two-point conversion after he ran for a touchdown in the final minute to beat the Chicago Bears 17-15 Sunday.
Sure,Cheap Stitched Jerseys, they barely prevailed in this one, stopping Langford on the conversion after he plowed in from the 2 to make it a two-point game with 24 seconds left.
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